Newborns: The Honeymoon Phase

Here we are just 2 months after we got married. Some friends gave us baby clothes as a wedding present. We loved the gift and all 5 of our children have modeled this sweater. :)

Looking back on this photo I am reminded of the honeymoon phase of marriage. We experienced wedded bliss! Don't get me wrong the first few months of marriage had their challenges; learning to share a bed, finances, and schedule with another person. Not to mention the shift in roles and identity. It seemed as though everything in my life had changed - even my name! But I gladly gave up my ways as a single woman for the benefits of being a married woman. I knew before I got married that there would be some sacrifices (no more flirting with other men, no more eating whenever and whatever I wanted for dinner, no more complete control over the finances....the list goes on and on), but I knew it would be worth it. I was gaining a husband.

Becoming a mother is a lot like becoming a wife. You even get a new name! Most people know of and expect the sacrifices and adjustments required upon marriage, but they do not expect to need to sacrifice or adjust further once they have a baby. You had to learn to share your schedule with your husband and now you need to share your time with an infant. You had to learn to share your resources and now you will divide them further. You had to learn how to share your body with your husband and now you will also be sharing your body with your baby. Becoming a mother brings a lot of changes that are not always welcome. There are a lot of sacrifices that we make, but they are worth it!

Having an infant is like the honeymoon phase of a marriage. Yes, it's hard, the learning curve is steep and there are many adjustments, but all your baby asks of you is love. Unconditional love. There are many things that can step in and rob us of the joy of this phase. Post-partum depression, sleeplessness, worry, and perfectionism all keep us from experiencing this honeymoon phase.

I have always had a difficult time accepting God's unconditional love toward me. I had never felt true unconditional love toward anyone until I had children. Meeting your newborn is a holy moment. There is nothing they have done to earn your love, but you love them just because they are yours. 

Don't get me wrong - having a newborn is also one of the most challenging times in life, but don't allow the challenges rob you of the joy that is to be had!

Newborns: topics to cover

A friend of mine sent me an email with "a few" ideas. Check out her list! She's amazing! I think this class will take more than 3 hours, what about you? Thank you Michelle for all the wonderful ideas! And for fleshing them out so beautifully! At first I thought that coming up with enough topics to discuss to fill a few hours would be the challenge, but now I'm realizing that narrowing the topics down is where the true challenge lies.

Here are just a few topics I thought of: 

- diapers - cloth vs. disposable, 101 basics, different cloth brands (which one is right for my child/), how to use cloth diapers, how many do you need, how do you wash them (kushi's liners that you can flush are helpful), traveling and out of the house (do you use cloth diapers? what do you do with them etc?)

- sleep - how much sleep should your child be getting, how many naps, how long, sleep cycles, sleep routines, good sleep habits, scheduling your child so they sleep better etc. When do they sleep through the night? sleep training, self soothing (or pacifier or thumb etc).

- breast feeding - 101 basics, what happens when it's not working?, different holds, latching, pumping (why? how? when?), how do you store the milk?, how long can you store the milk, what should they be drinking (how many oz etc), diseases (thrush, mastitis, etc), diet as a nursing mom.

- solid foods - transitioning from the bottle, when to stop breastfeeding, how to introduce foods, allergies, which foods to avoid the 1st year, good snack foods, making your own baby food. 

- products - high chair, cups, plates, bottles, snack containers, diaper bags, toys, bouncers, baby carrier, pacifiers, white noise maker, strollers, car seats, and other great products you can't live without. 

- baby blues - depression, anxiety, stress, difficult days, where to find help, building a support network, what signs to look for, etc., when do you get time for yourself?, exercises. 

- crying - what to do when your infant/baby cries, recognizing if they are too tired or hungry or need to be changed, gas relief (burping, gripe water etc), rocking, swinging, soothing with a pacifier or thumb etc. 

- pediatrician - milestone appointments, when to call the doctor, when to be worried (temperature of X), medications for problems such as reflux, shots/vaccinations, growth charts (what are they all about)

- routines - bedtime, nap time, leaving the house, meals, nursing/feeding/bottles, daily routines

- baby sign language - when to start, what signs to use, basic signs, why do signs etc. 

- activity - what should my baby be doing when?, rolling, crawling, stimulation, walking, etc. engaging & teaching them

- baby proofing - when should I start, what can my child get into, what items are the most dangerous etc. 

- traveling - what to bring in the car, what to pack for a flight, what to keep with you as you travel around town etc. Go to travel items

- strollers - which one is right for you, how do you know which one, best stroller for specific uses (traveling, running, normal every day use) etc.

- life change - what having a kid does to you (mentally & physically), what it does to your spouse, what it does to your marriage, what it does to your spiritual walk, what it does to your social group/life, what it does to your other kids, what it does to your interactions with your extended family (dealing and interacting with in laws etc). 

Toddler Questions/Topics

- discipline & power struggle - tentra tantrums, when to fight battles, what to do when they scream no, your attitude, what do you do in public? private? etc. 

- eating - switching from a high chair to a booster seat, table manners, staying at the table, diet, what they should be eating, etc. 

- sleeping - moving from a crib to a big bed and the freedom that comes with it (staying in bed, set bed times etc).

- potty training - when to start, how to start, what to do, cloth pull-ups, motivation - food, underwear, etc, staying positive, what to do when it's not working. 

Newborns: a series

So, we have another newborn in the house. Parts of it are wonderful, but mostly it is just hard. My last 3 newborns were really easy and I forgot why some people have a beaten down look during those first few weeks or months.

We had that beaten down look with our first too, not because she was a horrible newborn (she wasn't easy, but certainly not as tough as they come), I think we had that look because we were in our infancy of parenting. We had about as many skills in parenting a newborn as she had in living an independent life. I feel so sorry for myself when I remember those first few months. I missed out on almost all of the joy that was to be had because I was so overwhelmed by the learning curve.

Recently two friends have asked me to teach a class on newborns/babies/parenting in general. With my sympathies refreshed at how difficult it can be, especially for new moms and dads, I am developing a class on that vast, subjective and controversial subject. I am hoping to be able to write up many of my thoughts here, first so I have a digital copy, but also so I can get some feedback before I actually teach it live.

I can't promise how quickly I will post all of my thoughts, but here is what I am hoping to post next:
 1. Mommy: embracing your new role and title
2. Conversations to have with your husband before the baby arrives
3. A word about pregnancy and labor and delivery
4. Nursing: Scheduled or on demand
5. They kicked me out of the hospital: now what
6. Sleep training
7. Basic first aid: when do I call my pediatrician, when do I call my mother and when do I just Google it?
8. How do I entertain someone who can only see 9" away from their face?
9. Products that I find helpful or not.
10. Why and how to not give your baby a higher priority than your husband or other children.


There are other topics, but those will keep me busy for awhile. I am actually getting really excited about tackling this subject that I've been given practice in and chosen to research.
 

pictures

Here are some pictures from August. Definitely more than ought to be in one post, but.....here they are. Scroll down because the last few pics are my favorites! This month I've been much better about taking pictures. And now that I've learned how to post them hopefully there will be many more, smaller doses, of pictures coming. This month in review: we went to the beach every Tuesday, my tomatoes finally became ripe enough to pick, and I decided to exclusively use cloth diapers. My next post will probably be about what I've learned doing cloth diapers.

Will their relationship always have the sweetness captured here?

This picture reminds me of how much growing our children have left to do. I must not forget to show grace at their immaturity and walk rightly so they have a clear path to follow.

Another picture showing just how little they really are

Mommy, don't forget me! I'm still cute!

This is the only picture from Josiah's 9 month photo shoot that doesn't have motion blur. Sadly, I moved as much as he did! If I could learn to stand still I'd be a much more successful photographer.

Josiah is a well loved baby

We love to scare the little old ladies that live in the neighborhood

There is something wonderful here

Super Hero Ballerina

Bath time usually less relaxing  and more mosh pit like at our house.

She's not allowed to climb the lemon tree if Daddy isn't home anymore because she can go higher than I can! Absolutely 

Peek a boo

Josiah caught red handed

Summer tastes good

My happy boy!

Rub-a-dub-dub...

Laurana with the color by number she did!

Update: Baby food review

Left to right: Ella's Kitchen, Earth's Best, Peter Rabbit Organics, Plum Organics.

I am still happy with all these brands of baby food, but thought I should tell you that Earth's Best is the only one that adds water to their food. That isn't a bad thing necessarily. It is by far the thinnest, perhaps your early feeder will prefer it. Josiah has never enjoyed watery food, in fact he prefered stage 2 foods from the get go.

Earth's Best also adds ingredients like citric acid, the others use lemon juice. I will probably not buy more of the EB pouches, not because I think they are bad, but because it will be nice to narrow down a little bit! Take a look at my stash!

 

And since I buy from Amazon this is just one box of each flavor. I have an additional 3 boxes for each of the Plum flavors! The top shelf is all veggies. The plain white boxes are Ella's Kitchen. The left side of the bottom shelf are fruit blends and the right side are veggie blends. The green amazon packaging are Peter Rabbit Organics. 

New-to-me Baby Food Pouches (with a picture of Josiah)

Back when I started feeding babies, ha ha, in 2005, there were very few options. I was excited if the food didn't have added salt or sugar and it was a total bonus if it was organic. The baby food industry has exploded since then and there are so many wonderful options! I have been having so much fun experimenting with JoeJoe.

If I could fall in love with a baby food I think I would choose a packaging method and not a particular brand. Josiah and I both love the squeezable pouches of pureed fruit and veggies. He started being able to feed himself, ie nurse off a pouch he holds himself, at only 7 months. Now, at 9 months I can hand him a pouch in the car and he will finish it and be as clean as he was before he ate it! In my pantry right now are Plum Organics, Earth's Best, Ella's Kitchen (I splurge on this every once in awhile), GoGo SqueeZ, Mashups, Happy Baby, and Peter Rabbit Organics.

I buy Plum Organics, GoGo Squeez, and Peter Rabbit Organics at amazon.com. I buy Earth's Best and Ella's Kitchen at diapers.com. Happy Baby and Mashups I buy at either of these two sites--whichever is cheapest.

Before I found all these wonderful pouches of fruit and veggie blends I fed JoeJoe with a spoon from a glass jar. I started him on veggies (I learned my lesson about starting a baby out on fruit with Laurana) and he wouldn't swallow any of them except sweet potatoes. I quickly found these blends and he loves ALL of them. I have literally tried every flavor from each of the brands listed above. And yes, I mean I've tried them. Why would I feed my baby something that I wouldn't eat?! If I made his food from scratch I'd try every batch for taste and texture before giving it to him. Why would it be different with store bought food? I tried pureed green beans before I gave them to Laurana and decided that none of my children would ever have to eat them! I didn't want them to think that the disgusting grayish green bland and yet assertive flavor was what a green bean tastes like. I wait until they are doing finger foods and chop up the actual veggie for them to eat! So far green bean is the only flavor I've found to be unpalatable.

Back to these wonderful pouches. They travel really well! My older children like them too. I've found them to be a great snack for when we are out and about. I always have at least 1 pouch in my diaper bag. They are ideal for the beach or the park, anywhere where sand is an issue. I cannot say enough good things about this new packaging method! There is only one draw back to the pouches, I don't get to take photos like this anymore!

Ella's kitchen's Sweet Potatoes, Pumpkin, Apples and Blueberries was the first pouch I ever tried. They are my favorite, mostly because they are from the UK, I like the look of them and their flavors are really cool. I just saw that they offer more than just fruit and veggie blends in a pouch. They have "Stage 1 Fruit and Baby Rice" and "Baby Brekkie." These would be a great way to get the iron fortified rice and oatmeal into a baby. So far, none of my 4 would swallow baby rice or oatmeal. But I bet they'd like these with all the fruit blended in. There are also pouches of food for a baby with an adventurous palate. :) They are modestly called "Stage 2 Baby Food," but the flavors are anything but modest!

In an earlier post I said I would comment on NurtureMe baby food. I don't use it as often as the pouch style, but I do love it for one thing in particular. I sprinkle the squash flavor on pasta and it adds great flavor and nutrition for the kids! All my kids like the Scrumptious Squash flavor, it is pumpkin. I've added it to plain whole wheat pasta with butter and parmesan and also to macaroni and cheese. The kids will ask for it if I don't put it on. They say the pasta doesn't taste "right."

My father and mother go to orphanages in South America and Africa to give medical/dental treatment and encouragement to the kids and workers there. One of the biggest needs of these children is nutrition, the earlier they can get it the better. My parents bring children's multi vites with them, but the liquid multi vites for infants or baby food in a jar is just too heavy to travel with. I plan on stuffing as many of these pouches as possible in their bags the next time they go (Spring 2012) for the infants and toddlers they serve there. These pouches are so light and small they are ideal for travel!

Low Tech

I have a vision for this blog. It is a grand vision, full of recipes, pictures, books I have read and am reading, pictures, links to blogs I like, pictures, and a background that I actually like. I'm a perfectionist, it is hard to do something if I know it may never live up to my expectations.

What I'd really like, is for this to be a place where I can write about what I am learning about being a woman. Currently, I am a wife (7.5 years) and a mother to four young children. I've learned a lot about what it means to be a woman, wife and mother, I hope I never stop learning.

I assume I was one of those kids that asked "why" all the time. That seems to be the question I ask most now. Why should I get married? Why should we have children? Why do we use cloth diapers? Why do we buy organic food? Why do we eat eggs? Why do we have a gardener? Why don't we homeschool?

I also ask "what" questions a lot too. What is my primary goal as a mother? What is my primary goal as a wife? What are the gifts and talents that God wants me to cultivate and use now and which ones does he want me to save for later?

And then there are all the "how" questions.....so many "how's." That is often where I get bogged down.

Hopefully, this blog will begin to more closely resemble my vision for it. Ultimately, I'd like it to be a resource for other women who like to ask questions.